Chatroom Bandicoots
by CrystalGuy
Summary: Crash and friends... on a chatroom? Yes, they finally have some sort of instant messaging program. But what will happen? Stay tuned to find out. Please R & R. No flames.
1. Chapter 1: To the Chatcave!

**Chatroom Bandicoots **

**Chapter 1 **

**Crash - MeddlingMarsupial (or MM) **

**Coco - bandicootgirl1997 (or bg1997) **

**Crunch - StrongGuy27 (or SG27) **

**Aku Aku - FeatherHead007 (or FH007) **

**Fake Crash - PhoneyPony (or PP) **

**-- **

**Meddling Marsupial has joined the chatroom. **

**FeatherHead007 has joined the chatroom. **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Hey guys, what's up? **

**FeatherHead007 says: **

**Oh, nothing much. You? **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Nothing. I was bored so I logged on. **

**PhoneyPony has joined the chatroom. **

**PhoneyPony says: **

**Wow. We're the only ones online? **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Yeah. Coco and Crunch are always sleepyheads. **

**MeddlingMaruspial says: **

**What time is it? **

**FeatherHead007 says: **

**Just look at your clock.**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**... **

**FeatherHead007 says: **

**What? Can't you tell the time? **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**... **

**PhoneyPony says: **

**Wait, so you know how to use a computer, but you can't tell the time?!?!?!?!?!? **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**... :( **

**MeddlingMarsupial has left the chatroom. **

**bandicootgirl1997 has joined the chatroom. **

**StrongGuy27 has joined the chatroom. **

**StrongGuy27 says: **

**Yo! Wazzup, little bruthas? **

**FeatherHead007 says: **

**Actually, Crash just left because he couldn't tell the time. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**Pff. Pathetic.**

**FeatherHead007 says: **

**Don't call your brother pathetic! He's the one who has to run around Wumpa Island every freaking day trying to save your hind from Cortex and what do you do in return? You bully him? I'm ashamed of you. **

**FeatherHead007 has left the chatroom. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**... **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**;( **

**bandicootgirl1997 has left the chatroom. **

**StrongGuy27 says: **

**... **

**PhoneyPony says: **

**... **

**StrongGuy27 says: **

**Wanna go watch some TV? **

**PhoneyPony says: **

**Meh, okay. **

**StrongGuy27 has left the chatroom. **

**PhoneyPony has left the chatroom. **

**-- **

**Whee. I had fun writing this. **

**No, Crash-A-Catastrophe and Quest are not going to be deleted, this story is just going to be updated as well. **

**Anyway, R & R for Chapter 2. **

**-CrystalGuy- **

**--**


	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Cortexes

**Chatroom Bandicoots **

**Cortex - N-On-Mah-Head **

**N. Gin - SexyMissileOfDOOM **

**N. Brio - I-Invented-It **

**Dingodile - FireDog312 **

**Tiny - NOTgaytiger **

**-- **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM has joined the chatroom. **

**I-Invented-It has joined the chatroom. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**so wot u bin up 2 l8ly **

**I-Invented-It says: **

**Nothing much. Oh, except, I invented gophers yesterday. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM: **

**o rly? **

**N-On-Mah-Head has joined the chatroom. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**Darn it! Now I have to speak with proper grammer! **

**I-Invented-It says: **

**Er... you spelt grammar wrong. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**Im'a leave. **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**Oh no you don't. It's time for a... **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**Foot massage? **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**EVIL COUNCIL MEETING **

**SexyMissileOfDoom says: **

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- **

**I-Invented-It says: **

**SHUT UP!! **

**SexyMissileOfDoom says: **

**o.0 **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**Thank you, N. Brio. Now let us begin. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**Aren't Tiny and Dingodile meant to be here? **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**Who cares? **

**NOTgaytiger has joined the chatroom. **

**FireDog312 has joined the chatroom. **

**NOTgaytiger says: **

**Ahem. **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**How did you know I don't care? **

**FireDog312 says: **

**We hacked the computer. **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**What? All the hacking equipment is in the fourth chamber! **

**NOTgaytiger says: **

**Tiny and Dingo use FIRE! **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**Wait, does that mean... **

**NOTgaytiger says: **

**:) **

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**ABORT MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**N-On-Mah-Head has left the chatroom. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM has left the chatroom. **

**I-Invented-It has left the chatroom. **

**NOTgaytiger has left the chatroom. **

**FireDog312 says: **

**Er... You're not just gonna leave me here, are you? **

**"KABLOOIE!!" **

**-- **

**Well, this was also a fun chapter to write. I slipped an internet joke in there as well, if you can find it. **

**And thanks for the reviews, I didn't think I'd get so many. **

**-CrystalGuy-**


	3. Chapter 3: Oddities in the Chatroom

**Chapter Three **

**Crash - MeddlingMarsupial (or MM)**

**Coco - bandicootgirl1997 (or bg1997)**

**Crunch - StrongGuy27 (or SG27)**

**Aku Aku - FeatherHead007 (or FH007)**

**Fake Crash - PhoneyPony (or PP) **

**N. Gin - SexyMissileOfDOOM **

**-- **

**MeddlingMarsupial has joined the chatroom. **

**StrongGuy27 has joined the chatroom. **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**hey **

**StrongGuy27 says: **

**hi **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**what up? **

**StrongGuy27 says:**

**nuthin much. **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**OH GOD THIS CHAPTER IS BORING. **

**bandicootgirl1997 has joined the chatroom. **

**StrongGuy27 says: **

**Oh hey Coco. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**Hi Crunch. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**Hey. You know what I´m thinkin´? **

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**I´m no p****sychic. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**We should do something amazing. Something that will change everyone's lives. Like saving the world! **

**Meddling Marsupial says: **

**Ahem. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**Oh. Sorry. **

**Featherhead007 has joined the chatroom. **

**Featherhead007 says: **

**Hey guys. What u talkin about? **

**MeddlingMarsupial: **

**Oh, nothing really. Just general stuffz. **

**Featherhead007: **

**Good enough for me. **

**PhoneyPony has joined the chatroom. **

**StrongGuy27 says: **

**OH GOD THATS SCARY **

**StrongGuy27 has left the chatroom. **

**Featherhead007 says: **

**That's... Disturbing. **

**Featherhead007 has left the chatroom. **

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**Err. Yeah. I better leave. **

**bandicootgirl1997 has left the chatroom. **

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**No. Just plain no. **

**MeddlingMarsupial has left the chatroom. **

**PhoneyPony says:**

**Wha? Don'tcha like my display pic? **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM has joined the chatroom. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**hey**

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**Oh! I luvs ur display pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111ONE11!11111!1eleven1!!!! **

**PhoneyPony says: **

**Thanks. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: Hmm. There's only us online? **

**PhoneyPony says: **

**Yeah. Everyone else left when they saw my pic. **

**SexyMissileOfDOOM says: **

**Really? I guess his dramatic stare scared them. **

**PhoneyPony says: Either that or they don't like Gophers. **

**-- **

**CrystalGuy: Not such a good chapter in my opinion. Oh well. I guess I'll turn up the funny next time.**


	4. Chapter 4: Zem, Zam, Zehini

Chapter Four

N .Trance - LookIntoMyEyes

N. Oxide - ElephantMan

Velo - LittleBigAlien

Zam - Zem

Zem - Zam

LookIntoMyEyes has joined the chatroom.

LookIntoMyEyes says:

Hello? Anyone here?

Zem has joined the chatroom.

LookIntoMyEyes says:

Oh, hello Zem.

Zem says:

WTF? I'm Zam, you dumbass!

LookIntoMyEyes says:

...

Zam has joined the chatroom.

Zam says: Zem, are you pretending to be me again?

Zem says:

No, you're pretending to be me! I'm Zam!

Zam says:

Don't be ridiculous! Your screenname is Zem!

Zem says:

It was randomly generated!

Zam says:

Was not!

Zem says:

Was too!

Zam says:

Was not!

Zem says:

Was too!

Zam says:

Was not!

ElephantMan has joined the chatroom.

ElephantMan says:

Zem! Zam! Stop behaving like Zehinis!

Zem says:

Yessir!

Zam says:

Yessir!

ElephantMan says:

Now tomorrow is a very important day. We are to steal all of the Power Crystals in the world, and challenge the pathetic earthlings to a game in which if they win, they get their Power Crystals and we leave them alone, and if they lose, their Crystals are ours, not to mention the fact that I'll enslave all of them! There will be randomly generated battles, where the winner moves on in the tournament, and the loser becomes my slave until the end of the game. Muahahahaha!

Zem says:

Wasn't that the plot for Crash Team Racing?

ElephantMan says:

?

Zem says:

Oh, whatever. What is the game?

ElephantMan says:

They will have to proceed with what is called a Chatroom Battle, in which they must force the other person to leave in any way, either by weirding them out, of fighting them to the death! Muahahahaha!

Zem says:

That's cruel!

Zem says:

That's just like you to say that, Zam.

Zam says:

I told you I was Zam!

Zem says:

It was a typo!

Zam says:

Was not!

Zem says:

Was too!

Zem says:

Was not!

ElephantMan says:

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Zem says:

*gulp*

Zam says:

*gulp*

LookIntoMyEyes says:

I heard all that you know.

ElephantMan says:

No matter. All of you will find out soon enough...Muahahahaha- *hack* *wheeze*

ElephantMan had a drink of water (Gasmoxian flavour).

ElephantMan says:

Ah. Much better. Now, finally, to help organise the tournmament, we have none other than...

...

ElephantMan says:

Er... we're having slight technical difficulties, the guest accidentally crashed his computer trying to sign in.

LittleBigAlien has joined the chatroom.

LittleBigAlien says:

PSYCHE!

ElephantMan says: Welcome, Velo!

LittleBigAlien says: Thank you Oxide. May I show the tournament setup?

ElephantMan says:

Go ahead.

LittleBigAlien says:

h t t p : / / i m g 8 5 . i m a g e s h a c k . u s / i m g 8 5 / 2 4 3 8 / t o u r n a m e n t v . p n g

Without the spaces.

Zem says:

Hey! Why am I part of the earthlings team?

Zam says:

And me!

ElephantMan says:

Well, for two reasons. One, there weren't enough competitors, and adding you two would make it even. Two, to give them more of a chance. After all, I'm a master at this game. Muahahahaha!

Muahahahahaha! I finally have a plot to this story! R&R for more! Next chapter will be the earthlings discovering the topurnament, and the start of the first battle: Crash vs. Zem!


	5. Chapter 5: The Tournament

**Chatroom Bandicoots **

**Chapter Five**

**MeddlingMarsupial - Crash**

**bandicootgirl1997 - Coco**

**StrongGuy27 - Crunch**

**N-On-Mah-Head - Cortex**

**Zem - Zam**

**Zam - Zem**

**FeatherHead007 - Aku Aku**

**PhoneyPony - Fake Crash**

**DaehRehtaef007 - Uka Uka**

**"Let the tournament...BEGIN!" Oxide announced evilly.**

**"What tournament?" Crash wondered as he wandered to his computer. "And why does that voice sound so familiar..." He signed in to his account on ****w u m p a c h a t . c o m.**

**MeddlingMarsupial has joined the chatroom.**

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**Hey, did anyone else hear about that tournament thing?**

**N-On-Mah-Head has joined the chatroom.**

**N-On-Mah-Head says:**

**Yeah, it's being hosted by Oxide apparently... And guess who I have to face?**

**DaehRetaef007 has joined the chatroom.**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: Who?**

**DaehRetaef007 says:**

**ME! MUAHAHAHAHA! You don't stand a chance, Periwinkle!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**Don't worry about it, Neo. You could take him down any day!**

**DaehRetaef007 says: **

**How much do ya wanna bet!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Tell ya what. When the time comes that you two face off, if you win, I'll leave you alone to plan for the next year.**

**N-On-Mah-Head says:**

**You do know that benefits me too, right?**

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**Nope. I'll leave Uka alone. Not you.**

**N-On-Mah-Head says:**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**But if Cortex wins, You have to be our maid for the next year. Got it?**

**DaehRetaef007 says:**

**...Deal. Just you wait, Periwinkle!**

**N-On-Mah-Head says: **

**bandicootgirl1997 has joined the chatroom.**

**PhoneyPony has joined the chatroom.**

**PhoneyPony says: **

**Yes! I'm facing N. Trance! This is the perfect opportunity to get my vengance!**

**StrongGuy27 has joined the chatroom.**

**StrongGuy27 says: Yo foo's! Imma takin on a trophy, 'parrently!**

**bandicootgirl1997 says:**

**lol thats n. trophy dorc**

**StrongGuy says:**

**I pity the foo' dat call me a dork!**

**bandicootgirl1997 says:**

**bye bye im goin to hak u now lol**

**bandicootgirl1997 has left the chatroom.**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**What's her problem?**

**N-On-Mah-Head says:**

**Well, I'm going to prepare for my match.**

**N-On-Mah-Head has left the chatroom.**

**StrongGuy27 says:**

**Hey! Isn' his teh seventh match?**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Doesn't matter.**

**DaehRetaef007 has left the chatroom.**

**Zem has joined the chatroom.**

**Zem says:**

**Has anyone *RAWR* seen Coco round *RAWR* these parts? *RAWR***

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**Why? You're facing me.**

**Zem says: **

**No I'm not, I'm Zam, you man-lady!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**...**

**Zam has joined the chatroom.**

**Zam says:**

**Zem, are you pretending to be me again?**

**That's it for Chapter Five. R&R for Chapter Six, where Crash will face off against Zem...Or Zam...or...er...SHUT UP!**


	6. Keep Fighting! Kurrashu VS Zem!

**Chapter Six: Keep Fighting! Kurrashu VS Zem!**

**Crash - MeddlingMarsupial**

**Coco - bandicootgirl1997**

**Crunch - StrongGuy27**

**Aku Aku - FeatherHead007**

**Zem - Zam**

**Zam - Zem**

**Oxide - ElephantMan**

**Velo - LittleBigAlien**

**"Let us kick this off with a bang!" Oxide announced. There was silence for a few seconds.**

**"Velo, where the ~BLOOBEDIBOOP~ are you?" Suddenly, Velo's big, ugly head came out of the ground in the middle of the arena. Then, after another few seconds, it disappeared in a cloud of smoke, with a loud "BANG!" sound with it. Suddenly, the real, small Velo appeared.**

**"Greetings, Earthlings! I will be your Umpire for these matches. Firstly, in the red corner, everyone give a great big boo to Crash Bandicoot!" Velo said, while his chair started rising to the sky. Everyone cheered at the sight of Crash, much to the dismay of Velo and Oxide. **

**"Come on bro, you can do this!" Coco was holding an enormous flag with Crash's face on it.**

**"Good luck lil' fella! Don't let dat foo' beat ya!" Crunch was giving an equal amount of support.**

**"I prayed to all of the Ancients this morning. And CF13's ones too!" Aku Aku had a foam finger attached to his head.**

**"Who's CF13?" asked Coco.**

**"Never mind. Look, it's his opponent!" Aku Aku replied.**

**"And in the blue corner, lets have a massive round of applause for... ZEM!" Velo pointed at a door, where Zem walked out briskly. Everybody except Velo and Oxide boo'd.**

**"Ahem. Remember gentlem-er...gentlebandicoots and gentlealiens! The first to Log-In gets the first move!" Oxide continued. Zem continued with a slow pace towards a laptop, while Crash darted to his one. The laptops were connected by a cable. Obviously, Crash was the first to sign in. While Zem was signing in, he activated an application that gave him Wumpa Whip.**

**"Let the games...BEGIN!" Oxide boomed as everyone cheered.**

**MeddlingMarsupial has joined the chatroom.**

**MeddlingMarsupial had a drink of Wumpa Whip! ATK and SPD increased!**

**Zam has joined the chatroom.**

**Zam says: You're going down, hairball!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Bring. It. On. B****.**

**Zam lost 5 HP from the cursing!**

**Zam burped at MeddlingMarsupial!**

**MeddlingMarsupial's DEF dropped!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says: **

**Hey Zam.**

**Zam says:**

**Why are you talking to me so casually, you...**

**MeddlingMarsupial used NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE!**

**Zam lost 20 HP!**

**Zam says: **

**Oh, you are going to pay for that. And my name is Zem, numbskull!**

**Zam did a body slam on MeddlingMarsupial! **

**MeddlingMarsupial lost 30 HP!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**Oh GARGLARGOP!**

**MeddlingMarsupial activated SUPERSAIYANTRANSFORMATION!**

**Congratulations! Your CRASH evolved into SUPERSAIYANCRASH!**

**MeddlingMarsupial says:**

**Desperate times called for desperate measures. :P**

**Zam says:**

**I'm f&!")ed.**

**MeddlingMarsupial used KAMEHAMEHA!**

**Zam fainted!**

**Crash gained 200 EXP!**

**Crash grew to Level 82!**

**Crash is trying to learn the move BURP. However, he can only learn four moves. Delete a move to make room for BURP?**

**Crash did not learn BURP.**

**"Yes! I knew those DragonBalls would come in handy!" Coco Hi-Fived Crunch.**

**"And all those hours of playing Final Fantasy VII!" Crunch added. Then, Fake Crash walked in with a lifetime's supply of popcorn, and a can of Diet Wumpa Whip.**

**"What did I miss?" Fake Crash barely managed to say, with popcorn filling his enormous mouth.**

**"Crash just pwned Zem by going SuperSaiyan on him," Aku replied proudly.**

**And so we have a winner! Crashtopher Benjamin Bandicoot will be advancing to the next round, while Zem... eats his dust." Oxide seemed unhappy. Everyone but him and Velo cheered so much that their lungs hurt, as Crash grinned.**

**"Now now, settle down everybody. The next match will be starting soon at Two o'clock, after lunch. What time is it now?" Oxide asked.**

**"I have no clue," said Velo. "I've never liked watches."**

**"What's the time, Crash?" Oxide asked again.**

**Huzzah! R&R for the next chapter: The strange matchup! Genius Coco VS The Alien Pet, Zam! **

**Also, in your review, vote for who should win out of Coco, and Zam. **

**CrashFad13 and SuperSaiyanSonic75, if it's okay with you, I'd like to include you as Judges, as well as Oxide, for the remaining battles. Is that alright? Just tell me in your reviews.**


	7. Strange Matchup! Coco VS Alien Zam!

**Chapter 7**

**CG: Hullo, people of ! Sorry it's taken a little while to write this, but I'm starting another year of school, so... yeah. Also, the voting for the battles didn't go so well, so I'm going to stick to my original plan. Okay, enjoy the chapter!**

**"Are you nervous, Coco?" Crash asked, sipping at some Wumpa Whip. "If I could do it, you definetely can." He smiled. Coco smiled back. "Thanks big brother. Besides, did you see my opponent? He barks like a dog! I doubt he'll be very good at this whole Chat-Battle thing!" she laughed.**

**"Haha," Crash laughed too. "Well, you never know. Good luck anyway!"**

**Coco gave him a thumbs up while she started to walk to her laptop. Unfortunately, Zam was already at his. "Oh well" she thought. "I'll still be able to beat him, no trouble".**

**Zam - Zem**

**Coco - bandicootgirl1997**

**Zem has joined the chatroom.**

**Zem howled! +2 ATK, -1 DEF!**

**bandicootgirl1997 has joined the chatroom.**

**bandicootgirl1997 used Low Kick! It's super effective!**

**Zem used Bite! It's not very effective...**

**bandicootgirl 1997 says:**

**Come on, you can do better than that!**

**Zem got angry! +1 ATK, -2 DEF!**

**Zem used Bite! A critical hit! It's not very effective...**

**bandicootgirl1997 used Low Kick! It's super effective! Zem fainted?**

**bandicootgirl1997 says: Well that was eas- wait... why is there a...**

**Zem changed into Monster Form! All stat loss has been prevented! +5 ATK! +5 DEF!**

**bandicootgirl1997 says: **

**FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-**

**Zem used Monster Crunch! It missed!**

**bandicootgirl1997 says:**

**Thank the Ancients! Now...**

**bandicootgirl1997 used RADICAL TRANSFORMATION!**

**bandicootgirl1997 changed into Radical Form! +2 ATK, +2 DEF, +2 SPD, gained the attack, "Jack"**

**bandicootgirl1997 used Jack!**

**Zem was Jacked! **

**bandicootgirl1997 told Zem to hit himself! Zem fainted!**

**bandicootgirl1997 wins! Gained 2000 EXP!**

**"Way to go, sis!" Crash yelled. **

**"Yeah, dat foo' was pretty tough!" continued Crunch.**

**"But you pulled through!" Aku Aku added.**

**"Awesome!" finished Fake Crash.**

**"Th-thanks, guys. But it's not over yet... said Coco, smiling.**

**Thanks for reading! Not much I could do with Zem and Zam, as they aren't well known, but they're out of the picture now! Next battle will be Aku Aku VS. Dingodile! R&R for Chapter 8: **_**Fierce Battle! Spiritual Protector Aku VS The Dingodile!**_


End file.
